


The past and present

by Suitsanthings



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: Annoyed Harvey, Crying, Gen, Harvey Specter Being Sweet, Harvey Specter is Not an Asshole, Hurt Mike Ross, Men Crying, Mike Abused, Original Character(s), Out of Character, POV Multiple, Pre-Mike Ross/Harvey Specter, Protective Harvey Specter, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25594681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suitsanthings/pseuds/Suitsanthings
Summary: Things are piling up for Harvey. Mike ends up taking the brunt of it. How does Mikes past play a part?
Relationships: Mike Ross & Harvey Specter, Mike Ross /past OMC's
Comments: 5
Kudos: 47





	The past and present

Mike had to admit, it stung when Harvey chewed him out for a mistake. It’s not like he couldn’t take it, it just gives him painful memories of the mistakes he made in the past, but he usually kept those demons at bay.

Mike knew he couldn’t trust the other associates when it came to filling out forms he didn’t know how to do himself, but Harvey just had a major setback in a major case and Mike was only trying to make things more convenient for him. So when Greg offered him a trade, he took it. Once he had finished his side of proofing some of his briefs, he took the file and looked it over with the limited knowledge he had. Mike couldn’t find any unprofessional words or grammatical mistakes so he took it to Harvey.

Harvey had just gotten off the phone with the opposition telling him that unless Harvey’s client accepted their settlement offer they were going to put his daughter on the stand. Harvey had slammed the phone down in a rare fit of rage and was now trying to burn holes in the New York skyline with his eyes.

Not 5 minutes later, Mike bounded into Harvey’s office without knocking – like he usually did. Harvey probably shouldn’t have gotten as annoyed as he did but now he had his associate to redirect his anger on.

Mike, unaware of Harvey’s silent seething, passed him the file that Greg had done. Harvey flipped over the cover and nearly threw at Mike. Instead, he slapped it on his desk harshly, effectively capturing his associate's attention.

“Where did you get this piece of shit?”

Mike winced. Harvey usually didn’t swear unless the situation was dire. “ Harvey, I-“

“No Mike. I ask you to do one simple job. One simple task anyone could’ve done. Anyone in that bullpen, with or without their degree, could’ve figured it out and you didn’t?” Harvey knew he was being unfair. He tried to stop himself but he couldn’t control the rage that had been piling up for days now.

“You are useless Mike. Utterly ungrateful. Without me, where would you be? I took a chance on you. Thought that you were smarter, quicker. Turns out all you are is a fraud who doesn’t know friend from foe, who can't follow a simple instruction. Do you know what you are Mike? A fuck-up. A useless good for nothing mistake!”

While Harvey continued shouting at him, Mike’s brain was replaying Harvey’s words and the words of his past relationships.” I took a chance on you”, “A fuck-up”, “A mistake”. Mike didn’t understand where all this was coming from, so he assumed that Harvey had finally had enough of him just like everyone else. He knew this day would be coming for ages now. Mike guessed Harvey was telling him the truth he had bottled up for months.

Mike's past ex’s were toxic and abusive. One by one they all started using him or hurting him. Verbally and physically. Harvey was throwing the same words at him as they all had. The associate got stuck in a flashback.

Harvey carried on, not noting the glassy quality his associate's eyes had just taken on. “If only you were what you said. Oh wait, you are. A fraud and drug dealer that’s way over his head. God, Mike. How did you even make it to this age? Surely you would’ve fucked up along the way. I can't believe you. I should fire you and never look back. I can't believe I was about to reward you, I can't believe that I thought you were any more than a pathetic kid or a stupid idiot who can't fill out a simple form. Are you even listening? Get out, Mike. I honestly don’t need to concern myself with you.”

Mike snapped out of his reverie to look at Harvey. He gazed into the black pools of liquid heat, simmering with anger. He looked at Harvey one last time with tears pooling in his eyes as he left. Mke numbly walked back to his desk, cleared it, and left his ID. He didn’t think he could ever look at Harvey without hearing the words just thrown at him. Mke took the elevator down and cycled home.

In the relative safety of his apartment, Mike broke down. His past abusers infiltrating his mind, treacherously reminding him of what he used to let them do to him. Mike silently sobbed until he fell into a torturous sleep.

His nightmares consisted of all of his past tortures putting him down again and again. It ended with Harvey repeating his words and walking away with the rest of them, laughing.

\----

Harvey sunk into his chair when Mike left, suddenly feeling something like guilt for shouting at the kid like that. He knew Mike didn’t deserve any of that. Donna came back 20 minutes later, returning from her lunch break when she saw Harvey looking even more depressed than usual, staring at his pen holder.

Donna walked in “What has that penholder ever done to you?”

Harvey turned to face her. She took note of his dulled eyes. His cheeks were sunken and lips downturned.

“Harvey……What happened?”

“I lost it. I said things I shouldn’t have at the kid. I'm so sorry Donna. God…”

“I don’t think it's me you should be apologizing to”

Harvey’s head snapped up “Yes. I’m going to-“

“No Harvey. If was that bad give him some time to cool off. Approach him in the evening.”

“Yeah okay..”

\----

Mike woke up at around 3 pm. He had left the office around 12. His mind still reeling from the verbal abuse thrown at him mere hours ago. He couldn’t help but think that Harvey had meant every single word, and Mike had finally had enough. If Harvey and everyone else before him said it must be true. 

Mike got up and began writing up formal resignation emails for Louis, Jessica and Harvey. He saved them and decided to press send in a few hours.

Mike grabbed the TV remote and started listlessly at the screen, automatically absorbing the information thrown at him, as he did with Harvey’s words.

He eventually got up and went to the kitchen. He went straight to the fridge and thanked his lucky stars there was a six-pack of beer sitting there. He picked it up and cracked open the first one.

Mike stumbled back to the sofa with his bottles. He briefly considered weed, but then again there wasn’t that strong of an urge plus he had promised Harvey-

Godammit. Why did everything link back to his boss? Harvey had become his saviour, mentor, boss, guidance, and most importantly a rock in his life since he hired him. However emotionally stunted Harvey Specter seemed Mike could see through it, especially when it came to Donna or Jessica. When it came to himself Mike dismissed everything he thought he saw, but recently he allowed himself to hope a bit more. Of course, all that came crashing down now and Mike realized that all of those looks might’ve been disappointment or even pity.

Mike couldn’t think anymore. He just couldn’t. He decided to send his resignation letters in now after all. Once he did he lost himself to the particularly large bottle of vodka sitting in one of his cupboards.

\----

Harvey had just returned from a client meeting he didn’t concentrate on. Once he passed the bullpen he saw Mike wasn’t there and his badge was. Harvey calmed down, he wasn’t about to lose the best associate he had ever seen, he’d get him back. After that, his thoughts were on Mike. What was he doing? Getting high? Nah, he had more faith in the kid than that. Getting drunk? Harvey didn’t think he had reached that level of telling him off.

At around 4 pm when he got back to his office. He logged into his work email and found one from Mike. He felt instant relief then it was replaced by worry. Why would Mike even contact him?

Harvey opened it and read the title. Oh no. What had he *done*? He scrolled down.

Harvey,  
In all the time that I got to be your associate, I am thankful for it. I don’t know what I did to earn your rage. I don’t know how to phrase this seeing as I never expected it to end like this. I knew we were on borrowed time but never like this.

I deeply apologize that my employment ended like this. I only hope that you forgive me. So, effective immediately, I, Mike Ross, hereby resign from the law firm of Pearson Specter.

Yours sincerely,  
Mike Ross.

Harvey looked up, then he looked to the side. He turned around then closed his eyes. He didn’t know what he was going to do. By the time he had collected himself he saw Jessica heading towards his office; Louis hot on her heels.

“I don’t know what you’ve done but this better be resolved.”

“Jessica, don’t worry, I-“

“Don’t worry?” Interjected Louis,” Don’t worry? Harvey, he was one of the best associates this firm has ever seen and you sent him running out of here with his tail between his legs?”

Jessica, seeing how Harvey was acting off, sent Louis away to be dealt with later. Her tone softened.

“Harvey...Mike was valuable to this firm, degree or not. I should be happy that he and his secrets are gone but it doesn’t exactly feel like a win at the moment. Get him back.”

She stood and left. Hell, “Degree or not.” Isn't that mighty familiar to what he’d said to Mike only a few hours ago? Enough. Harvey didn’t have anything that required his immediate attention, so he packed up and left, heading straight to Mike’s apartment.

\----

Upon arriving at Mike's door, he knocked and winced slightly when a few things cluttered and he let out a grunt of pain. Some shuffling later then Mike opened the door and dropped his hand with cash in it.

“If you wanted me to bring food you could’ve just asked.”

Mike very visibly flinched when Harvey opened his mouth, no doubt remembering what had come out of it earlier.

Mike leaned heavily on the door frame. “What do you want Harvey?” He asked slightly slurred, “I'm out of hair for good now. What more could you possibly want?”

Harvey frowned “Mike, I just-“

“No Harvey, just turn around and don’t look back like you said you would.” 

Harvey flinched. He deserved that. “Mike…” he trailed off. He now had a clear view of Mike’s living room. Beer bottles were lying everywhere and an impressive portion of a vodka bottle was missing, no doubt making its way through Mike's bloodstream.

Harvey straightened up. He was going to get this associate back. “Mike I know I'm the last person you want to talk to right now but you’re going to listen to me.”

Harvey took a deep breath, ready to go on for the next 5 minutes but due to Mike’s clouded judgment he opened the door wider and let him in.

Harvey walked in and opened his mouth to thank him but Mike only held up a hand and said: “After dinner.”

Harvey sat on the couch and raised a single brow at the vodka bottle sitting on the table in front of them. Mike simply shrugged and played with his hands. They sat in awkward silence until the bell rang and broke it. Mike got up to answer it, he then set out two plates and they both ate in even more tense silence.

Eventually, Mike startled Harvey by asking “Why are you even here?”

“Mike. I said a lot of things I shouldn’t ha-“

He cut him off with a short bark of bitter laughter. “Shouldn't have? Really? Are you sure about that?”

Harvey frowned “Mike, I-“

“No Harvey. You said all of those things because you meant them. You’ve been bottling all this up and you’ve finally let it out. You know what,” Mike turned to face him, eyes filled to the brim with unshed tears “I deserved it. I’m not a lawyer, let alone a good one. I am a mistake. I am a screwup and so many people have said it now I can't believe it took me so long to realize it.”

Harvey drew in a sharp breath and mentally gathered his words off the floor. How could Mike believe he wasn’t a good lawyer? He rivalled Scottie’s work for god’s sake. A screwup? Mike was the best goddamn thing that had happened to him in absolute years.

“Mike, no.” He started softly. He put a hand under Mike’s chin and turned his face towards himself. “I know I don’t give you enough credit for it, but you’re a damn brilliant lawyer. Your work is better than any of the douchebags’ in the bullpen. A mistake? Mike…” He paused when Mike’s tears began to fall. “Come here…” 

Harvey held Mike’s shoulders and pulled so that his face was buried in Harvey's overpriced collar. Mike tried to resist by pulling back but Harvey just kept a firm hold. Eventually, Mike's struggles died down and he sobbed into the crook of Harvey's neck. His tears began to soak through Harvey’s suits jacket. Mike blamed it on the beers.

Harvey could barely care about his clothes. “Who called you that Mike? Because I can tell you right now, they couldn’t be further from the truth.”

Mike only cried harder. He began clutching Harvey’s collar’s lapels now. The senior lawyer began to whisper sweet nothings into Mike’s ear. He didn’t know if they were for his associate or himself. Eventually, they had both fallen back, resting on each other.

“I had many… boyfriends who really weren’t relationship material. The first time, Brian, he had been nice for 2 months… then he had started by the little things. 

Eventually, he made me believe what he said and did… I deserve. I broke it off. The next few times I let it go on. Oh god…… it was all my fault.” Mike couldn’t help but grip harder “The 5th time… I don’t know why but I really started to believe him. I couldn’t dispute the fact that it had happened so many times now, I just started to accept the truth. So, I took whatever he threw at me.”

Harvey couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He swore to himself he would get Mike revenge. He mentally noted to contact Vanessa, his PI. For now, he just held on tighter.

“I only got out of it because he said he had finally grown tired of a useless slut. It was only a few weeks before I met you. Then you hired me. You made me feel like I wasn’t worthless like I wasn’t a mistake like I wasn’t a waste of space.” Mike’s tone was steadily getting higher with gratefulness. “You gave me an opportunity Harvey…”

Harvey loosened his grip to look down at Mike. His eyes were red and wet, tears still streaming down his cheeks. His eyes were so dull. It was so unlike when he had found a loophole or convinced a client.

“Mike- “ He got cut off.

“Then today… you tell me everything I just started to unbelieve. I couldn’t take it. Harvey… I just... I understand if you never want to see my pathetic face again. God, I’m so sorry I ruined your- “Mike started to pull out of his grip, struggling once again.

“No” Harvey growled. Mike immediately stilled, fearing for the worst. “You’ve been interrupting me this whole evening.” He stared into Mike’s eyes noticing the fear, the dread of what he thought was to come. “I. Am. Sorry. I mean it, Mike. It was misdirected anger and things piling up and I couldn’t take it.” The shock on his face, on both of their faces. Harvey couldn’t believe that he had just admitted to that out loud, Mike equally surprised.

With another heart-wrenching sob, he buried his face once again into his boss’ chest and sobbed. “I’m sorry Harvey. I really am... Please-“

Harvey cut him off “No Mike. None of it was your fault. It never has been.”

They fell into a comfortable silence, both basking in each other’s company. Their breaths were in sync now, both shattered after the events of the past week. Both pairs of eyes were close to shutting for the night.

“Mike…” Harvey began, “Will you ever forgive me?”

“Always, Harvey” Mike made out sleepily before nodding off.

Harvey allowed himself a small smile on top of Mike’s head. Once the alcohol wore off in the morning they would talk. For now, the senior partner yawned, he would shift slightly to make his associate more comfortable, and followed Mike‘s example.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for actually reading the fic. I hope u enjoyed it. Pls comment I need to know if u acc liked it. ;)


End file.
